'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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