Your mouth is God's brothel.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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