what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
