Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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