So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
