I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize