I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
