Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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