Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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