I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
