I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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