He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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