"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
