Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
