Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
