girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
