What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
