Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
4 words: hood of his car
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
