There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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