i already hear my dad disowning me
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize