Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
