I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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