i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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