i permit you to call me
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
