i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize