Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
