doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
