i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
