I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
