? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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