so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
