I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Holy shit dude........stairs
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
