I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
