she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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