So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
