My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
