no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
