I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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