Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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