I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
