absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize