he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
me + whiskey = a bad person
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
