One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize