Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize