I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
