oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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