So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im part way to drunk.
Pants are for mortals
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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