Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
