All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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