I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
