Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
