and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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