TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize