she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
