I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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