can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
