one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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