lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
