that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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